(cont. Fucking Xanaria)
Oral:
- Do you mean 'You are content...' instead of 'You are contempt...' ?
- Content-wise, it's fine and only needs a quick edit to improve flow.
Fucking pet-Xanaria:
- You don't need to set up the whole 'scenenum' thing. Just use...
- Code: Select all
if a random chance of 1 in 2 succeeds:
The above will result in a 50-50 chance. You can adjust those odds accordingly if you've got more scenes.
- Don't forget to include the [ovichance] whenever the player's fucked by someone virile. Not sure if enslaved Xanaria qualified.
- 2nd part for males: '...more involved roll...' should probably be '...more involved role...' .
- 2nd part for females: The vicious, monstrous, cold-hearted, alien creatures come to a peaceful agreement as to who gets to fuck you? Somehow that seems a little wrong. It need not be a full-on fight, but maybe maybe some scuffling and posturing or the like?
- The neuter scene is a bit more incoherent than the others. Granted, it can be trickier writing scenes for the neuter player. Be sure to give it a once-over.
- I sometimes use phrasing like 'unfocused waves of physical delight' or 'pent-up pleasure that's almost painful without a means of release' in relations to sex/orgasms with neuter players.
- I see a decided lack of oviposition throughout this content even though the Xeno are ovi-themed creatures.
That's it for this morning. On to Xera next.