New Writer Submission

New Writer Submission

Postby Xenophiliac » Mon Aug 04, 2014 2:15 am

Hey everyone, this is an upload of a creature I jammed out recently.

Thanks a ton to Wahn for throwing ideas my way and helping me out with I7 coding.

Feel free to leave your suggestions and/or criticisms.
Last edited by Xenophiliac on Sat Aug 09, 2014 8:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Man ideas are weird.
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Re: New Writer Submission

Postby TigerStripes » Mon Aug 04, 2014 5:41 am

Xenophiliac wrote:Hey everyone, this is an upload of a creature I jammed out recently.

Thanks a ton to Wahn for throwing ideas my way and helping me out with I7 coding.

Feel free to leave your suggestions and/or criticisms.

I've done a quick review of your submission right now. I've not pored over every detail of the scenes, but the portions I read all seemed good. While there's always room for improvement, it is a fine first creation. I did a compile check and applied some corrections, getting it ready to go live. I'll be posting it shortly.

That said, there were quite a few errors, though the bulk of them were fairly simple ones which you would easily catch and correct by a test compile. If you plan on doing more, I do recommend you install Inform7, as its compiling debugger is very good at describing and pointing out where the errors occurred. Compiling on your own will also help you learn and improve, reducing future errors. Now, while it may seem like a lot, this is all fairly basic slip ups that everyone makes on their first few projects until they get the hang of it.

Here's a quick breakdown of what I ran into so you know what to watch out for in the future:
- Use tabs to shift over the indentation level of code, not spaces.
- Code stays at the same indentation level until some clause shifts it over - stuff ending in a colon ( : ) like an if statement or some form of loop.
- Within that clause, you stay at the same indentation level until you either insert a second clause like another if statement (bumping things up another level) or are done working within that clause (dropping back down one level).
- When you need an 'otherwise:' to go with an earlier if statement, the 'otherwise:' is dropped back down to the same level as that of the 'if ... :' line and the content within the otherwise clause is bumped up one indentation level (placing it at the same indentation level as the content within the if statement).
With this in mind, your code becomes this:
Code: Select all
to say losetoHermaid:
   say " Your attacker lures you into throwing a hit, but quickly counters and lands a punch across your head, sending your head spinning and stopping you from thinking for a few moments. As you recover yourself, you find that the beautiful creature has you wrapped in her arms, stopping you from escaping.";  [ \|/  Introduce length descriptors?!?]
   if cocks of player > 0 and cunts of player is 0:
      say "[HermaidMaleLoss]";
   otherwise:
      if cunts of player > 0 and cocks of player is 0:
         say "[HermaidFemLoss]";
      otherwise:
         if cunts of player > 0 and cocks of player > 0:
            say "The seafaring herm looks at you thoughtfully, as if considering what to do with you. After a moment, she nods to herself and smiles.";
            say " [one of][HermaidFemLoss][or][HermaidMaleLoss][at random]";
         otherwise:
            say "[HermaidNeutLoss]";

- Using 'otherwise if ...:' can simplify and organize coding situations like the above even more. While not necessary, it does make it easier to follow, especially as more layers are introduced. Doing so reduces it down to the following. This is more a cosmetic thing at this level of complexity and I know you were using the breakdown from my template or another creature as a starting point. I'm just pointing it out so you know it's possible for future projects.
Code: Select all
to say losetoHermaid:
   say "     Your attacker lures you into throwing a hit, but quickly counters and lands a punch across your head, sending your head spinning and stopping you from thinking for a few moments. As you recover yourself, you find that the beautiful creature has you wrapped in her arms, stopping you from escaping.";  [ \|/  Introduce length descriptors?!?]
   if cocks of player > 0 and cunts of player is 0:
      say "[HermaidMaleLoss]";
   otherwise if cunts of player > 0 and cocks of player is 0:
      say "[HermaidFemLoss]";
   otherwise if cunts of player > 0 and cocks of player > 0:
      say "     The seafaring herm looks at you thoughtfully, as if considering what to do with you. After a moment, she nods to herself and smiles.";
      say " [one of][HermaidFemLoss][or][HermaidMaleLoss][at random]";
   otherwise:
      say "[HermaidNeutLoss]";

- You had one case where you'd missed a space before a > symbol:
Code: Select all
if cunts of player > 0 and cocks of player> 0:

when it should have been:
Code: Select all
if cunts of player > 0 and cocks of player > 0:


- When writing an if statement containing logic (and/or), do not repeat the if. It only appears at the start of the if statement. You had the following a few times, which should instead look like the above.
Code: Select all
if cunts of player > 0 and if cocks of player > 0:

- Two of the say statements in 'to say HermaidMaleVic' had no 'say' at the start.
- The two line breaks in 'to say HermaidNeutLoss' had no space between 'line' and 'break'.
- There is no 'cunt of player' descriptor to match 'cock of player'. Unlike with cocks, the infections do not provide varied descriptors for an altered player's cunt.
- There were some typos and minor spelling mistakes which I corrected along the way.
- Creature balance was pretty good, coming out of it as a lower endurance, lower hit, higher damage monster. I raised its dex by 2 to make it a little more threatening, but that's it.
- I indented the text all equally to 5 spaces while I was making the other corrections.

There was also a few minor issues which were not caught by the compile because they deal with formatting your material to match the systems FS has in place.
- The bulk of these are entries relating to the description and changes for player infection. With the exception of the 'tail entry', all the player infection content (both change and descriptors) should not end in punctuation, as that will be added by the infection and description subroutines that are a part of the main game code. This is another common error and one easily spotted with a little attentiveness during playtesting as double periods would start appearing when infected or when looking at yourself.
- I also broke up the 'cock entry' descriptor into separate random adjectives, adding a third (cetacean) to the mix. This will have one of the three be shown whenever the player looks at themselves or some scene calls upon it. Generally, we only want one adjective to show at these times and the scene for player cock transformation can be used to give a fuller description as it is changing.
- The type entry should not be capitalized for 'aquatic' as it's meant to also be used as an adjective descriptor at times.
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Re: New Writer Submission

Postby Xenophiliac » Mon Aug 04, 2014 9:10 am

Well I feel like a dong :/. I'm pretty sure i uploaded an earlier version of my creature that still had bugs in it ;__;
I have I7 and went through and debugged it, making sure it worked ingame.
There are a few things that I want to add real quick, and then ill upload the correct version.
Man ideas are weird.
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Re: New Writer Submission

Postby Xenophiliac » Mon Aug 04, 2014 9:42 am

Alright, here's the actual complete non-buggy version. Apologies for uploading the wrong version, there's like 3 of them around on my comp.
Last edited by Xenophiliac on Sat Aug 09, 2014 8:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: New Writer Submission

Postby Wahn » Mon Aug 04, 2014 10:34 am

Xenophiliac wrote:Alright, here's the actual complete non-buggy version. Apologies for uploading the wrong version, there's like 3 of them around on my comp.


The adjusted version that Stripes edited is already online and integrated into the game. Check the file out here: https://github.com/Nuku/Flexible-Surviv ... ermaid.i7x
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Re: New Writer Submission

Postby Xenophiliac » Mon Aug 04, 2014 11:06 am

The adjusted version that Stripes edited is already online and integrated into the game. Check the file out here: https://github.com/Nuku/Flexible-Surviv ... ermaid.i7x


Is there any way for me to edit that version/reupload the completed one? I actually threw in some different scenes depending on player feats & whether or not they submitted or lost in battle.
If not, it's no biggie, but it'd be cool to have the entire thing up there.
Man ideas are weird.
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Re: New Writer Submission

Postby TigerStripes » Mon Aug 04, 2014 12:54 pm

Xenophiliac wrote:
The adjusted version that Stripes edited is already online and integrated into the game. Check the file out here: https://github.com/Nuku/Flexible-Surviv ... ermaid.i7x


Is there any way for me to edit that version/reupload the completed one? I actually threw in some different scenes depending on player feats & whether or not they submitted or lost in battle.
If not, it's no biggie, but it'd be cool to have the entire thing up there.

You have a few options for this.
- If you install GitGUI, you can create a fork and local copy of the game based on the online Code Repository (which is on GitHub). You can then edit and upload the changes to your own file locally before making a pull request from there.
- You can save a copy of the file I'd edited using the link Wahn's provided and then insert your changes into it and then post that file in this thread.
- You can review my above notes and the uploaded file to make the adjustments I'd mentioned that you haven't already fixed.

While the first is recommended, as it'll allow you to keep up to date on revisions and send your own updates and new additions, it is a little tricky to set up when you're first starting and requires some vigilance to not accidentally undo someone else's updates. If you want a quick, easy fix, do one of the latter two and we'll worry about the first once we've got those how-to setup posts back up.
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Re: New Writer Submission

Postby Xenophiliac » Mon Aug 04, 2014 1:28 pm

You have a few options for this.
- If you install GitGUI, you can create a fork and local copy of the game based on the online Code Repository (which is on GitHub). You can then edit and upload the changes to your own file locally before making a pull request from there.
- You can save a copy of the file I'd edited using the link Wahn's provided and then insert your changes into it and then post that file in this thread.
- You can review my above notes and the uploaded file to make the adjustments I'd mentioned that you haven't already fixed.

While the first is recommended, as it'll allow you to keep up to date on revisions and send your own updates and new additions, it is a little tricky to set up when you're first starting and requires some vigilance to not accidentally undo someone else's updates. If you want a quick, easy fix, do one of the latter two and we'll worry about the first once we've got those how-to setup posts back up.


I'll upload the actual version I meant to submit in the first place real quick. Sorry for the screw-up & thanks for your help, I feel like a total dingus for uploading the unfinished copy ;~;.
Ill check out the GitGUI when I get a chance, that'll make things easier later on.
Man ideas are weird.
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Re: New Writer Submission

Postby TigerStripes » Mon Aug 04, 2014 2:00 pm

Xenophiliac wrote:I'll upload the actual version I meant to submit in the first place real quick. Sorry for the screw-up & thanks for your help, I feel like a total dingus for uploading the unfinished copy ;~;.
Ill check out the GitGUI when I get a chance, that'll make things easier later on.

I've done some work fixing and tidying up this new version, but don't have time to complete it before leaving. I'll finish it up in a few hours and send it off.
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Re: New Writer Submission

Postby Xenophiliac » Mon Aug 04, 2014 2:53 pm

I've done some work fixing and tidying up this new version, but don't have time to complete it before leaving. I'll finish it up in a few hours and send it off.


Once again, thanks a ton for the uploading and tidying up, it's super awesome.

I'm also looking for advice or recommendations on where to go from here, and whether or not I should start another project immediately. Don't know if waiting for large amounts of feedback is necessary, or if I can just start chugging through another project.
Man ideas are weird.
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